Not only does it get soggy way too quickly to the point that you will have to spoon a watery grout, it’s also completely bland. Also stay away from what the English call “continental breakfast”, the only reason it, and the included vaguely Croissant-shaped abominations, exist is so that the English can cut off their tongue to spite the French. Stick with a full English, ideally three times a day, possibly interspersed by fish but don’t eat the chips or at least try to stop them from dousing them in vinegar before you can say a thing. Many have asked “Is it even possible for English food to be that bad?”, and the answer is “If prepared correctly, alas, yes”.

The only properly edible thing on that god-forsaken rain-drenched misery Island is Chicken Tikka Masala, and it’s not even English. Go visit the Netherlands instead, at least you can get vla in cartons there and while the weather is just as bad, the locals won’t mind you complaining about it as they have the good sense to not be proud of it.