A 38-year-old man repeatedly tries to force his wife to have sex in the middle of the night but has no memory of his actions when he wakes up.

A married woman in her mid-20s often tears off her clothing and masturbates but remembers nothing when her partner rouses her.

For a dozen years, a 31-year-old man masturbates while asleep, at times injuring his groin. Embarrassed due to his unconscious behavior, he avoids relationships for eight years.

These are all clinically documented cases of sleep sex, or sexsomnia, part of a family of sleep disorders called parasomnias that include sleepwalking, sleep talking, sleep eating and sleep terrors.

  • BellyPurpledGerbil@sh.itjust.works
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    6 months ago

    I get it. I have like, life ruining levels of insomnia, which is like 90% because I have extreme nightmares every time I fall asleep. They’re so bad sometimes I wake up crying. Sometimes I don’t fall asleep because I know what’s waiting for me when I eventually lose consciousness. I’m so thankful when I have no dreams at all. I’ve talked to doctors and psychologists about it and they just shrug at me like, wow that sounds tough. Nobody has ever helped me with it. And really who would take it seriously? It’s just nightmares right? What adult is afraid to go to sleep? To dream about loved ones dying in gruesome ways right before their eyes? Or getting murdered in horrible ways, tortured to death, trampled, eaten alive by insects, being responsible for killing my whole family in a car crash, falling to death and remembering what the impact felt like, having my eyeballs plucked from my head, my stomach torn open and my guts devoured while I’m still alive. I’m not even close to the end of the list of what I’ve experienced over half of my life. Yeah they’re just nightmares. But I have to experience them. For the rest of my life.

    The only fighting chance I’ve been given is to move to a state where weed is legal because it basically prevents me from dreaming at all.

    • CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Your last sentence was exactly what I was going to recommend. I also have bad dreams almost every night, although not as extreme as what you’re describing. But still, I don’t like sleeping and that’s probably why. I also have bad insomnia although mine isn’t related to the bad dreams, that’s just an additional nuisance.

      With weed, I sleep peacefully every night. I didn’t start using weed regularly until my late 40’s and now I’m like… why not? Sure as fuck beats getting drunk almost every night to get to sleep which I did through a good chunk of my 30’s. Since I ‘discovered’ weed, I barely drink at all.

        • Aganim@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          I’ve tried weed once when I had a migraine, as I’ve heard that statement from others. It’s hard to describe how it felt exactly, but it sure as hell didn’t help me. It felt as if I was locked up inside my head, which was filled with pain and agony. As if there was no world anymore, just pure pain. Definitely a hard ‘nope, never again’ for me.

          I’ll just stick with popping a triptane and go to bed. The combination of migraine+triptane always gives me the weirdest dreams, it feels like insurance-covered tripping. 😋

          • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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            6 months ago

            That sucks but as with things neurological different folks will respond differently to different drugs. Considering how painless the side effects are I’d suggest most people give weed a try once for migraines but if it doesn’t work then it doesn’t work.

            • Aganim@lemmy.world
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              6 months ago

              Yeah, my comment was most definitely not meant to warn others against it. Just as a heads-up that it does not work for everyone. And if you do have adverse side effects like I did: it sucks, but keep in mind that it will pass.

          • etceterar@kbin.social
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            6 months ago

            I think the thing it does is prevent migraines. I was getting 1-2 a month and now it’s 1-2 a year. Smoking after a migraine starts makes me feel like my head might actually fall off my body, no fun.

    • lorkano@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Have you heard about lucid dreaming? It’s effective to learn it against nightmares. You will more often know that you are dreaming therefore making dreams less scary. Apart from that you might be able to take over a bad dream and form it as you wish.

      • MeekerThanBeaker@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        I was gonna suggest lucid dreaming as well… but for me they are far and few in between. Some people can do it every night though. Worth a try.

    • tamal3@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Eh weed’s not legal in my state, but I smoke it every night to fall asleep… Not trying to be flippant, but sleep is important.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Is something like delta 8 or delta 10 THC legal in your state? That might work for you. CBD might even work.

      • RGB3x3@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        CBD is a godsend for my wife who has pretty bad anxiety. It’s worth trying for a week or two for sure, especially because you don’t have to go to a doc to get it. And if you don’t like it, just come off it and you’re back where you started.

    • Vej@lemm.ee
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      6 months ago

      I OD’d on Benadryl once, it was like I was both asleep and awake at the same time. Dreaming and experiencing the horrors of what my mind could make worse. All while being nearly paralyzed in fear. That happened one time. It still messes with my head yesrs later.

      What happened, do you take something or go to a doctor or therapist?

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Sounds like the fever dream I had when I was a teenager and had mono and hep A at the same time (not uncommon apparently). I was both lying on the living room couch with the TV on and a soldier on a battlefield crawling through the mud. Also, unsurprisingly for me, occasionally I was on Star Trek (which wasn’t what was on TV).

        • Vej@lemm.ee
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          6 months ago

          A standard dosage for me is an overdose. I have a very low tolerance to Benadryl. Unfortunately, I learned this after that day at the doctor’s office.

    • NOT_RICK@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Come to NJ, my dreams have largely gone away thanks to the weed store right down the street from my place.

    • Ultragigagigantic@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Have you ever tried ketamine therapy? There are clinics in some states. Expensive as fuck, but they exist if you want a guided session with a therapist.

    • GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca
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      6 months ago

      I have the first half of this. When I’m disturbed out of my dreams, they’re usually quite violent or bizarre, but I don’t remember them unless someone wakes me up in the middle of them.

      The time I dreamt I was remarrying my ex, on the other hand, i woke up on my own and quite distressed, and I couldn’t fall asleep after that for a good half hour.

      It’s funny what counts as nightmares for different people.