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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AdCreepy4805 on 2023-07-18 17:47:33.


The “girls night out” in question is an outing we usually hold once a month or so where we go out without children and partners, just us girls doing girl things.

We are a group of seven friends, five of which are mothers. My friend “Mary” (27f) was happy with the concept of girls night out when we decided what to do, but the last three months she has been taking her 4yo along, even though all the other moms always make sure to have someone to take care of the child for the night.

Obviously having a four year old with us means having way less freedom. We can’t go drinking or dancing because no one lets us in with a minor, he gets tired easily, complains a lot and he runs off whenever he feels like it - essentially what started as a night to unwind became unpaid babysitting for three months in a row.

I belive that it’s needless to say thay we are all pretty annoyed at this, especially the other moms who want to relax a little. We don’t understand why she can’t leave her son with her partner, or ask her mother to watch him like she does when they want to go out on a date.

Since we have been organizing this month’s GNO (we’re going to a salon, then to the movies to watch Barbie and eat pizza on the beach if we have time) we also decided to tell Mary once and for all to not take her son along.

I was tasked with telling her and she didn’t take it well, she thinks this is something I came up with alone and that I am just being an asshole because I am not a mom and don’t understand how painful it is for them to leave their children alone. But she seems to have no problem doing so when it’s date time.

I am just wondering if we are exaggerating? Are we being assholes?

  • L31FY@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 year ago

    NTA, and Mary can be not invited if this is a problem. I know not everyone can find someone to watch kids all the time but this seems like a regular thing and when they know this is a planned event. This is adult time. It’s reasonable to want adult time. Everyone else involved leaves their kid to have adult time because it’s not appropriate to bring children to adult time. This was clearly expressed by the lack of activities possible due to a child present here. If they have an issue with their partner watching the child then they need to work that out personally and not place the responsibility of the child on others as a result. Too many people don’t take responsibility for their children and this seems to be part of that. They are actively inconveniencing other people with the kid on purpose. Kids have a right to exist but you don’t have a right to shove them on people who did not volunteer to take care of them as is what is happening here by bringing a kid to fun night. It is no longer fun night. It’s make sure we don’t kill the kid night then and you can’t have fun because everything upsets the kid that’s fun or it’s off limits now. Been there done that.