on one of my lasts posts, most of the people that answered agreed with the idea I’m on the spectrum. I don’t know. I don’t see anything wrong being myself.
I’d just like some serious answers from neurotypicals explaining to me why my question triggered my coworker so much:
Manager called me to ask if I can take an extra shift at a different unit because they’re short staffed due to illness. I agreed.
Because that unit sometimes overfills and nurses there have to take care of more patients than the ratio agreed with the union I called the unit to ask how many patients they do have today, to have an idea if my shift tomorrow is going to be an easy or a difficult one.
The coworker started yelling and calling me an idiot and using some other choice words, so I said “ok” and hung up.
I didn’t yell at her, I simply asked the question in a neutral tone, and I still don’t get the animosity.
20 minutes later the same person calls to inform she called our manager and tomorrow I don’t have to work at that unit.
All this stupid drama because I asked how many patients they have? I simply don’t get it.
Am I really this autistic?
While the response you got was probably an overreaction, if you stated it exactly this way, that was the trigger.
“I want to know how much I have to work” will suggest that you don’t want to work. A better way to phrase it would have been with your first question:
“Hi, I’m A and tomorrow I’ll be working with you. I don’t usually work there, and I wanted to make sure I was prepared for the workload. About how many patients do you have?”
That tells them that you do want to work. Slotting the word “about” in there lets them know that you don’t expect an exact number (that they would have to shift their own brain gears to go look up), and gives them the option of saying something like “pretty quiet right now” or “it’s crazy, I gotta go, see you tomorrow.”
That’s a bingo.
Since they’re probably chronically overworked, they’re probably unhappy about it. And getting people floated to them who don’t want to do work is a common issue with those kinds of units.
I’m a very nonconfrontational person, but if someone called to interrupt whatever I was doing to ask “I want to know how much I have to work” tomorrow, I wouldn’t be happy.
AuDHD here, and I think you’re spot on, but I wouldn’t discount that union issue mentioned also being a factor. If they’re doing anything wrong then they definitely won’t give an honest answer and being put in that position will frustrate them even more (even though it’s possibly their own fault).
I’ve lost count of how many times I thought I was doing the right thing by seeking clarification so I can properly adjust for some bending of the rules (not necessarily opposing anything) but got blowback because I acknowledged the thing everyone else was conveniently ignoring.
When I ask my boss for clarification: Figure it out!
When I don’t ask my boss for clarification: That’s not what I wanted!
???