About a year. It was a really toxic relationship. It started when I was 20 and my ex was about 26. I was enamored of them and they took advantage of this to reel me in, then manipulate me.
Warning: mildly entertaining breakup story follows.
We actually split up because we were fighting about living together. We had been together for about four years. They had never moved out of their parent’s place so, at almost 30, had no experience with housing or self sufficiency. They wanted to find an upscale house being let for about the price of a 1 bedroom apartment. Seriously, I’m not exaggerating. After three months of looking with no housing miracles in sight, I tried to impress upon them that what they wanted wasn’t going to happen. They got very upset. When I asked them to come over so we could discuss, they did - and broke it off.
20 years later, I can recognize what a massive favor they did for me. To be fair, I was also crazier than a sack of cats, but who in their early twenties isn’t? I hit therapy hard and got myself straightened out. Highly recommended.
On average it takes 18 months to grieve a loss. Divorces are no exception.
I’ve gone through 1 divorce and some long term relationship breakups, pretty close to when loved ones die.
Eventually it’s replaced by new automated defenses and behaviors. Hopefully not too unhealthy.
I think I still have some grief from all of them. I don’t see it as a bad thing though, just a measure of how much love I’ve had in my life. On a practical level, I think it can help you to see what you’ve got with the person you’re with when you can remember what it is to lose it.
I think I see grief as an aspect of love tbh. It’s painful but sweet and beautiful all the same.
Divorced at 30 after 9 years, just a few months ago, and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it
Lost the majority of my friends in the process too because they took her side
Don’t really think guys can recover from this. Making friends in my 30s is not ever going to be the same level of connection as the ones I made in high school/college
I got divorced from a 10+ year relationship in my late 20s, and then had a nasty, bad breakup from my first relationship after at 30. I had a small group of friends that stuck around, but lost many in the process of each breakup.
I never really kept in touch with people from highschool and earlier, though, so I can’t comment on them
Things do get better. At 35 I’m now in a better relationship than I ever had before. I have new friends and new circles. A new chapter in my life was started, and things are better than they ever have been before.
I don’t know if this will work for you, maybe it doesn’t work out sometimes. But guys can, and do, recover from it.
my ex broke up with me in March 2019. around February 2024 I was still sad about it…
I personally believe that strong emotions are never silenced, they are only muffled by piling more time on top of them
And booze
3 yrs. Don’t let it get to you man everyone moves at their own pace
e: Still sometimes have dreams about them but it no longer bothers me
Ugh. Five years? And then he ruined my life twice.
Go on… Do tell…
My ex-girlfriend and I were together from June 2019 until November 2024. In December 2024, I randomly met my current girlfriend at an ice rink - we started dating in February of this year. So, like, about a month of grieving…
