Living in the U.S. here, so non-American advice may not be the best thing for me, not sure.

I am living with an undiagnosed serious illness (haven’t eaten for 45 days.) I am off work on FMLA, which is a thing businesses in the U.S. offer to their employees where you can taker time off and they will keep your job for you, but you don’t get paid. We are not exactly poor, but we are going to be surviving for at least a month on a single income. That will be hard, but we’ll make it if we cut back.

HOWEVER.

I have $1000 in medical debt, which will just keep climbing, and I also have a cousin who says that he can get me into the best hospital in New York- I’m in Indiana and we’re not exactly at the forefront of medicine- to get thoroughly tested. I cannot afford either of these things. We do not have temporary disability insurance.

I have a lot of friends and relatives who might donate, but I feel like such an asshole asking for money. Especially when my wife is working and has a decent job. I’ve done everything I can since I was 18 to make it on my own and, while I have had to take handouts in the past, it was at the ‘this or starve’ level, and my doctor hasn’t run out of tests to do on me yet, so I wouldn’t quite put it like that. And what if the money isn’t enough to go to New York and pay for all of this testing? Do I give it all back?

So should I do a GoFundMe? What do you think?

Please, please, please, please do not give me medical advice. I really really do not want medical advice from strangers on the Internet. I leave that to professionals. But I would love this bit of AITA advice.

TL;DR - Very ill, not working, in debt, possible solution in another state. Should I do a GoFundMe?

  • Sneezycat@sopuli.xyz
    52·
    1 year ago

    Do what you have to do. If people give you money, it’s out of their own volition.

    Hope you get better.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
      12·
      1 year ago

      I know, but they’re my friends and I don’t want them to think less of me since I’m asking for handouts.

      • mommykink@lemmy.world
        23·
        1 year ago

        I’ve experienced similar quandaries in my life before, but you have to ask yourself, “would I think any less of my friends/family members if they asked me for help?”

          • Lem Jukes@lemm.ee
            6·
            1 year ago

            American individualism and ‘bootstrapping’ is one of the great American Lies. There is no shame in needing help because broken social systems failed you. Anyone who would think less of you for needing help with medical bills is someone you don’t want in your life anyway. if we were truly a civilized nation you wouldn’t be having this problem.

      • Otter@lemmy.caEnglish
        4·
        1 year ago

        Great advice already here

        Another thing is that you’re not directly asking any particular person to donate. They have the option to just share the post with others (which is also great because there are more people out there who also want to donate/advocate on your behalf).

        You can also include a message similar to what you have here :)

        Hope things improve for you!

      • maxprime@lemmy.ml
        3·
        1 year ago

        Consider going to see a clinical psychologist for therapy. I know you’re already swimming in debt but it sounds like you could benefit from this. Even if you had to wait until you return to work, it sounds like you’re going through it.