I’ve noticed most answers are from men; I’m a woman, so perhaps if you are a hetero guy my perspective is useful.
Your photo doesn’t matter more than your bio, it matters just as much, but it will go first in the order of judgement so make sure you have something presentable.
Now for the bio, you are short on words. Pick a few things that really define your character and that you consider your match must be ok with. So if you like metal and rock just say that, don’t waste precious space on all your bands unless you are really, really really into these bands in particular. If you are a harcore fan of rick and Morty, sure include it, otherwise just say you like animation or sci fi.
Same goes for books and movies. If there is an author you are an absolute fan, mention it, otherwise go for a couple genres you are into.
I would start with saying you’re a (career here) student. Saying what you study is useful, it states interests and it’s an easy conversation starter.
Then if you have a quirk or two mention them. They are good conversation starters too. I don’t know, maybe you are one of those people who have the soapy cilantro gene but they still like cilantro or maybe you are particularly skilled at something.
Happy to give further feedback. Good luck out there
I’m a woman and I liked this advice.
My tip: This might sound obvious but I’d have you wear a bright color, like red, in the first photo in your profile. It will catch the eye and stand out a bit. This is not my original thought - I got it from someone who was describing her experience on dating apps and what worked best for her. You want to catch someone’s eye while they are swiping quickly through pictures.
Even if that red shirt is the uniform from Star Trek?
… asking for a friend.
Never, ever, ever, ever, put Rick and Morty in your bio. I legitimately think you’d have better success putting your preferred porn categories. I like Rick and Morty, I live with my girlfriend, and I still don’t watch it around her. There are very few popular things that actively repulse women as much as that show.
In the realm of more useful advice, Tinder bios are worthless, your pictures do all the work. Hinge, OKCupid, and Bumble will be a little better for profiles. Depending on the games you like maybe focus on board games or something a little more expressive than Fortnite and Minecraft. Books are great, put something you’re actively/recently read, put your favorite and ask for suggestions. It seems you’re metal adjacent in music tastes so maybe put some more general metal to hook other metal heads but not scare off everyone else
Finally, pick something goofy or weird to stick out with. I am great at tetris so I put that I have a standing offer to buy drinks for anyone who can beat me. Nobody will ever actually take you up on it but it gives you a way to stand out while also showcasing your interests
Feel free to post your profile for critique. Making good dating profiles is hard and getting unbiased internet opinions is harsh, but helpful
I dont think you and your partner can speak for all women. My partner and watch it together and we both like it. It may repulse certain women, but definitely not all women.
That said, i kinda agree that it should be left out of the bio, its too specific, and putting it in a bio comes off as someone who harasses mcdonalds workers for szechuan sauce. Its something to share once they know you better.
Are there women who like Rick and Morty? Of course. If you’re on a dating app it’s all a numbers game and Rick and Morty is one of the easiest ways to get the largest amount of women to immediately dismiss you. I would struggle to find someone who suggests associating yourself with it to increase your chances at going on a date. OP is asking Lemmy for dating profile tips, so I feel you need to make certain things very clear about how to succeed
I largely agree with you, and only object to the “actively repulse women” statement, as its overly broad.
And something about the phrasing came off as a suggestion to hide part of your personality from your partner, which seems like a bad idea. (This could just be me, misinterpreting what your saying)
Not just you, it struck me in the exact same way
My wife likes Rick and Morty more than I do, and I think it’s a great show.
Sure, but we’re all people posting on Fediverse content. We are not the vast majority of the population. My advise is to help make this dude as generally appealing as possible. We should not pretend we’re the average people on these apps
It’s definitely a turn off for most women imo, especially because of the shit with Justin Roiland (sp?) being a disgusting creep. Anyone who puts it in their profile because they love it that much is just asking to get swiped left on.
- my wife, who does actually enjoy the show (tho really didn’t like the first season bc they had Rick burping every two seconds and it was gross)
My ex-girlfriend really liked Rick and Morty…
Well, if you say so… porn categories it is!
Hell, I’d even go as far as to say don’t put any specific show, game, movie, or book in your bio - just that you play games, watch a genre of shows/movies, or read a genre of books.
I feel like “plays video games” is better than “plays Call of Duty, Apex Predators, and Rainbow Six”.
I watched it with my gf so ymmv. Try seeing women as individuals more.
Having not watched rick and Morty, why?
Not the person you asked, but I have the same general sense that most women would not find it a positive thing to list. Without making broad unsupported generalizations about women, I would suggest:
- it’s a TV show, not a personality. It’s a bit much to list as an important detail on a dating profile.
- similar to the first point, there is a stereotype about certain men that made the show their personality. Cringe.
- the show is largely shock humor, irreverent, pithy comedy dialogue. Not bad in and of itself, except when paired with the above mentioned points of it being used as a surrogate personality, or listed as if it’s an important part of a person’s interests.
Anecdotally, my wife also dislikes the show.
I would suggest that listing broad categories of things you like is probably better than an individual thing. E.g., saying you like reading and listing a few authors isn’t weird, but listing one single book seems a little obsessed.
That’s all pretty close to what I’d say. It’s not a popular show amongst women and trying to explain “No, Dan Harmon wrote some really poignant critiques about modern pop culture” is a losing battle when what everyone knows about the show is screaming Szechuan Sauce losers, Justin Roiland’s general sex pest attitude, and generally gross content (including pedophile rape!) Don’t start dating someone by justifying something they dislike, just sell the good parts about yourself
I have a rule of thumb about certain media. If you like Rick and Morty, Joker, Donnie Darko or Fight Club that’s okay. But if any of those are you FAVORITE that’s a low key red flag where I am gonna ask you to explain why…
Those aren’t bad shows/movies, but they all feature very arrogant, can’t-be-bothered-with-dummies, over the top rude men. It’s a very edgy teenage immature thing to adore thess characters for the wrong reasons. It would never be a deal breaker, but it certainly isn’t appealing.
Fight Club is so funny to me because most of the people who “love it so fuckin much” missed the point entirely. And I love it so fuckin much, but I’m a big Chuck Palahniuk fan and actually got what the book and movie were going for.
You just wrote it fam
Ya honestly just copy and paste the whole thing, including the request for advice lol
write what you are like, not about the things you like.
What would an example of this look like?
“Fan of Rick and Morty” just says the same thing as “I like Rick and Morty”.
Liking Rick and Morty is not a personality type.
Wait…
Personally, liking Rick and Morty feels like a red flag for a certain type of person these days. The kind that thinks being a dick is a positive and claims you have to be a genius to understand the show.
So, Rick, basically.
talk about your values, what you actually do, your personality traits
“easy going cowboy with a tender heart. sees value in spending time wisely instead of chasing after a rush of blood to the head. you’ll likely find me at the bowling alley knocking back some of that good ole sarsaparilla.”
Why do you enjoy the show? Are you a fan of science fiction? Is your sense of humor rather dark and nihilistic? Does the way the show finds humor in sci fi concepts interest you? Is it about the social and mental health commentary?
Or do you just enjoy potty humor?
Understanding what you like about something is more useful data for a potential partner than even necessarily what you like.
It can also impact which partners will feel safe and comfortable around you.
you have no personality, your description told me 0 things about you
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I don’t think that’s the point! It’s just too generic. Think about things that make you stand out from people aroud you, maybe? Also don’t self depreciate, be confident!
And yet, that you’d say this to a perfect stranger asking for help says rather a lot about you. Funny how that works.
Just an anecdote:
When I was single last time, I tried tinder for the first time in a very long time. Wrote a few interesting bios. Got some matches, nothing that sparked anything ultimately though.
Then I just changed my bio to (roughly translating from my language) “hey, I create stuff”. Just a few words, no real substance.
Got too many matches to handle, a few really hit off. and one of them I am sharing my life with still.
All this to say, it’s not necessarily important to have a great bio. Maybe it piques peoples’ interest more, even, if it’s very minimal and casual. Not sure what it was, could’ve been just fool’s luck, but just a perspective I thought could be interesting to know.
To add to this/sum it up: the more you have on your profile, the higher the chance it has a dealbreaker.
Think of it in twitter context. If it takes longer than ~7 seconds to read, you are losing half your audience.
Disclaimer: i’m single but have been making online dating profiles for 20 years. also i’ve never had a twitter and the stats i made up and have no proof or source behind them.
Listing your favorite media is generic and doesn’t actually tell much about your personality, everyone does it and makes you very skipable. Talk about that on the first date, but it won’t help you get a date.
Jokes are good, but come up with something unique. Maybe make a silly acrostic out of your name? This type of creative writing is what high school English was actually for.
Make sure your photos varied, not just you at different angles. Ideally show your face, your full body, a community or outside activity you did with friends and a hobby (something you made ideally, art or food is good). Only put a picture of a pet if you are also in it.
Ask a question, since you said you like to read, give people a prompt to reply to like “What is your favorite memory from a book” or something. Make it easy for people to reply, give them something to go on besides just “Hi.”
(and for the love of God don’t mention Rick and Morty, I love it, but omg does the fan base have a reputation. Women will think you immature and keep on swiping)
Participate in your community and pursue hobbies. Network. Dating apps are a crutch.
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Be sincere. It’s cool you like all those things, just take yourself seriously. Present yourself in the best light and stick to the facts. Sounds like you’re looking for companionship and so make it easy for the reader to understand what they are getting into when dating you. Make sure your photos are flattering, honest, and not too goofy. Do include fun facts about yourself if they aren’t too self deprecating and would offer the other person an icebreaker.
I think you have excellent taste in music. But my wife disagrees, so we just don’t listen to music together. Is music taste non-negotiable for you? What ate things you’d like to do with someone? Board games? Video games? Quiz games? Reading May or may not work. Other new hobbies or sports or activities you’d like to try? That at least suggests some social interaction and maybe get noticed by someone with similar interests.
Those things are very generic. Everyone listens to music, plays games and reads.
Give us more info, what are you studying, what is your personality like? What are your aspirations? What is your favorite band?
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Do you have roommates? Siblings? How do you get along with them? What kind of friend are you?
Do you have any interesting talents or skills?
What kind of person do you want to meet? Would you date a vegan? What about overweight or obese? Do you want to consume drugs/alcohol together? Do you want to play Portal 2 Co-Op? Do you want to move in and get a dog?
What are you studying? What books and movies do you like most and why? Does Linkin Park help you with suicidal thoughts or make it worse?
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Planning to draw? The only way to get better at drawing is to do it, a lot! Every day.
Living at home is probably not a selling point but it’s probably best to be upfront about it, maybe you’ll find a girl who’s living at home too. Better not to waste somebodies time, or your own, if that’s a big deal to somebody.
If I was you I’d describe your ideal date, maybe it’s a long shot, but if it works it’s a slam dunk. So like, where would you eat out, or take out, which video game would you play, movie would you watch, what beer do you want to drink? Or maybe your ideal date is to get donuts and go to a quiet place in nature and read a book?
Anyway by being honest about yourself, and what you’re looking for, you may not be successful but you won’t waste any bodies time (including your own).
Your photos matter way, way more, but a reasonably good bio:
I like reading (name a few books you like), music (mostly rock), and sci-fi.
looking for (something, this could be a joke, idk)
School 'yr (maybe also mention your major if you feel like it)
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How do you stroke a giraffe’s head?
Is that what you meant?
I like metal, rock, Glukhovsky’s books and shrek (I gave up writing about sci-fi and r&m to sound more normal)
I think “Glukhovsky” just sounds like a much, much more obscure way of saying “sci-fi.” And I think Shrek kind of sounds… both like something everybody likes, and like a childish thing to focus on. Like, I like Shrek, but it is a children’s movie series that came out in 2001, so how about…
I like metal, rock, sci-fi literature (I’m a big fan of Glukhovsky), and (something else, maybe something more abstract, like “ordering dessert” or “the sound my cat makes when I pet it” or “comfy sweaters” or "food that’s just a little bit too spicy* or something).
then…
Looking for my next ex (joke)
… nope. I understand the joke. You do not want to make a joke that takes people to a negative place. Also, this particular joke is a cliche, so it’s not even funny anymore.
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Pizza with pineapple, night drive, Singing in the shower, a bit too much sweetness (but I’m thin) poor comedy or something like that?
something like that. I like “singing in the shower,” it’s cute and not too common and there’s really nothing wrong with it.
Might get downvotes for this but Tinder’s algorithm is a bit of a hamster wheel. But if you want to keep trying don’t let my opinion faze you!
I got my wife through Tinder (I’m a man). I paid for it a few times because I did find it easier to get through the thousands of swipes it takes.
But that’s not without literal years of trying and getting very few dates out of it. For men, it takes a long time to find someone that will actually give you a chance because women can be really discerning with how many men are on the app. And from what I’ve heard from women, there are lots of creeps on there.
Keep trying and it’ll work eventually.
