Research says involuntary celibate men make “fundamental errors” about what women want in a partner.

    • yesman@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      19
      arrow-down
      23
      ·
      10 months ago

      trauma response

      What trauma? listening to Jordan Peterson? If being rejected makes you hate women, then you were an entitled asshole to begin with. Nobody is owed affection, companionship, or romance.

      This attitude is an insult to lonely men people everywhere, who everyday cope with romantic failure without regressing into a chud. Incels are deplorable people; fuck 'em.

      • agitatedpotato@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        25
        arrow-down
        13
        ·
        edit-2
        10 months ago

        Sigh. Just say you don’t know shit about mental health and move on with your performative outrage for any time you hear the word incel. I don’t have time to teach an idiot about trauma informed perspectives and it’s clear you’re not looking to learn anything, so I’m going to ask you to shut up and listen to the mental health professionals, like the one’s in the article who did the study. Because your little rage fit over incels is NOT more informed than studies conducted by professionals, and in fact is much more regressive so congrats for a perspective that make the problem you pretend to care about worse. Must feel nice to teach those incels a lesson though I’m sure you showed them.

          • agitatedpotato@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            12
            arrow-down
            9
            ·
            edit-2
            10 months ago

            For real, like damn, if you want there to be less incels, well we gotta fix it, and unless their personal solution is to just round em up and throw em in camps, then maybe we have to listen to the people who spent time studying this. Shocking. I swear they just wanna feel mad and superior.

            • shiroininja@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              7
              arrow-down
              9
              ·
              10 months ago

              it’s on them to fix themselves. not society. I’m alone, divorced, but I still don’t blame women or society. that’s the incel’s problem: lack of personal accountability, entitlement to a woman, society blaming.

              it takes two to make a relationship, and I’m tired of my fellow man being offended at having to work at having a relationship

              • barsoap@lemm.ee
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                6
                arrow-down
                2
                ·
                10 months ago

                So in one, direct, uninterrupted, comment chain we went from

                No but it can absolutely be a trauma response.

                to

                it’s on them to fix themselves.

                Geez lemmy.

                  • barsoap@lemm.ee
                    link
                    fedilink
                    arrow-up
                    1
                    arrow-down
                    1
                    ·
                    edit-2
                    10 months ago

                    Ah I see and because it’s their responsibility they shall not have any help dealing with it. This just in: Having ADHD is your responsibility, therefore, no Aderall for anyone.

                    Them being incels is also not the fault of the medical system, but it’s still the medical system’s responsibility to help incels to develop responsibility. It is the fault of society at large that incels are incels – noone is born one – so it’s even more the responsibility of society at large to help them get rid of that bullshit. Both for the incel’s and society’s sake. Or are you yourself too alienated from everything, too atomised, to recognise that? Well by your own logic that’d be your responsibility to fix, no need for me to even mention it you can do it on your own.

            • GBU_28@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              4
              arrow-down
              8
              ·
              10 months ago

              Many tankies on Lemmy, throwing people in camps would probably get upvoted

              • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                4
                arrow-down
                3
                ·
                10 months ago

                many machines on IX.

                What’s that got to do with the price of rice? You really think the only people who disdain incels are the tankies?

                Got news for ya bud, that’s fucked.

          • agitatedpotato@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            7
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            10 months ago

            So don’t you want to take steps to stop that or do you want to ignore it and just hope schools stop getting shot up?

            • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              arrow-down
              5
              ·
              10 months ago

              I didn’t say that, I said I dislike them. Just as I dislike idiots like you who jump to the dumbest conclusions automatically.

        • 2fat4that@kbin.social
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          arrow-down
          18
          ·
          10 months ago

          This was a well composed response but it doesn’t change the fact that nobody cares about incel mental health. And they shouldn’t because incels don’t really matter. Forget them. They are so far down the list of groups that need support it’s laughable. They are a joke and should be regarded as such. Your recognition of incels empowers them which warrants suspicion.

          Also, your faith in mental health professionals is concerning. Are you, by chance, Canadian?

          • barsoap@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            13
            ·
            10 months ago

            They are so far down the list of groups that need support it’s laughable.

            Are you somehow thinking that “Giving incels help” means “enable them to continue being assclowns”? Because that’s the only way I can make sense of what you’re writing.

            Giving potential offenders help in the form of enabling them to form relationships which aren’t abusive is helping not just incels, but also the people they would victimise. This isn’t a zero-sum game helping them to get their shit together is a win-win scenario.

            • agitatedpotato@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              7
              ·
              10 months ago

              Thank you. It’s not like they’re getting “special incel” mental health, its literally just normal mental health treatment that we have to find a way to get to them. Everyone here seems to think therapists are going to star talking like podcast bros, no, we just need more mental health everywhere, and that somehow pisses them off. Inhumane fucks.

              • barsoap@lemm.ee
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                10 months ago

                Everyone here seems to think therapists are going to star talking like podcast bros, no,

                Vaguely gestures at Dr. K

                • agitatedpotato@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  arrow-down
                  1
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  10 months ago

                  Unfamiliar with him personally, and the phrase ‘podcast bro’ left a lot of vagueness so that’s on me, but in my mind when I said podcast bros I was meaning the ones who try to outright justify the maladaptive responses rather than address the root traumas, names like Tate and other unmentionables, and I hope hes a far cry from that kind of podcast since it seems hes a real psychiatrist.

                  If someone wants to adopt the overall podcast style in a professional and healthy way, to me that becomes more an example of ‘meeting people where they’re at’. Which is necessary and best practice in lots of Mental Health and Social Work situations. Everyone struggling with MH deserves to be met where they are at IMO, if it was easy for everyone to just walk into a therapists office, my guess is many more would do it, and we wouldn’t see rising MH issues across almost all strata of society.

                  • barsoap@lemm.ee
                    link
                    fedilink
                    arrow-up
                    2
                    arrow-down
                    1
                    ·
                    10 months ago

                    Dr. K is actually much more on the therapist than podcaster side, incels have come up but that’s because the incel topic is gamer-adjacent, not because he’d be targeting that audience, as is I doubt this kind of thing can reach the actually misogynist ones (the interviewee was involuntarily celibate but not whatever-pilled). To specifically address those going a bit undercover and looking like a Guru would probably be necessary. Something like a mixture of Dr. K’s qualifications, Vaush’s erm combativeness and Hampton’s biceps and attitude. Would be a thin line between keeping things sane and hitting notes the audience expects, maybe along the lines of “real men don’t hit women, we tickle” – I’m of a generation and place where we actually, and truly, would gang-tickle girls in our teens. Never did them any harm and I in fact got dates out of it as apparently it’s giving them a sense of security, “those guys can throw down but don’t mean me any harm”. In that context, I learned the difference between being scary (like a monster) and being intimidating (like a rollercoaster): Girls by and large like the latter but rightfully loathe the former. That kind of lesson, I think, is exactly what people who go down the incel pipeline lack.

          • agitatedpotato@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            13
            arrow-down
            3
            ·
            edit-2
            10 months ago

            Your recognition of incels empowers them which warrants suspicion.

            Sure bud. Recognizing problems is bad, and ignoring them is how we fix them. Huge brain take. If you really need find a group to feel superior to, you do you, but I suggest therapy and a better world view as a healthy alternative. You seem more eager to let the problem perpetuate, which warrants ACTUAL suspicion.

            • shiroininja@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              6
              arrow-down
              6
              ·
              10 months ago

              it’s on them to fix themselves. not society. I’m alone, divorced, but I still don’t blame women or society. that’s the incel’s problem: lack of personal accountability, entitlement to a woman, society blaming.

              it takes two to make a relationship, and I’m tired of my fellow man being offended at having to work at having a relationship

              • Narauko@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                arrow-down
                2
                ·
                10 months ago

                You sound like the barely middle class referring to the homeless. “It’s on them to fix themselves, not society. I smoked pot and drank in college, but I didn’t fall into addiction and lose my job and my home. That’s the homless’ problem: lack of personal accountability and willpower to get clean and sober and maintain a job.”

                Making substance abuse a stigma instead of recognizing it as a physical and mental health condition hasn’t helped the homeless population pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Recognizing incelism as needing mental health treatment is no different. If it’s obviously a problem, it affects society, maybe we should look at it instead of turning out noses up and pretend not to see the problems.

              • petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                arrow-down
                3
                ·
                10 months ago

                I’m alone, divorced, but I still don’t blame women or society.

                I’ve got this everybody.

                Ahem.

                Clap

                There you go. Your one, single congratulations.

                Can you get out of the way now? Give psychologists the space to do their god damn job?

                • shiroininja@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  arrow-down
                  1
                  ·
                  10 months ago

                  Nobody is stopping them from seeing a psychologist except the psychologists own extortionist pricing. Mental illness is not their fault, but it’s the individual’s responsibility.

            • 2fat4that@kbin.social
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              arrow-down
              8
              ·
              10 months ago

              Incels aren’t a problem for regular people. They only really exist in social media which is, obviously, not real life and cannot hurt you. Unless, you want them to? Did a troll hurt your feelings? Did he call you a cunt on Tinder? Did they call you “bud” in a sassy reply? You gave them power by being so fragile and now you want to give them more recognition. 80% of incels will grow out of it. This article, and you, are validating Jordan Peterson. Congratulations, you’re an incel ally.