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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/xavi_lex97 on 2023-07-06 07:59:18+00:00.

Obligatory notification about being on mobile, sorry for any formatting issues. Also I just finished a nightshift so I am a little bit drowsy before bed so apologies for spelling mistakes.

Background: In August last year, 2020, I successfully handed in the last piece of work, a CFD simulation study, that cemented my Master’s Degree in Advanced Mechanical Engineering and Aerospace with a first class distinction. I am very familiar with fracture mechanics.

Important facts to draw from this are:

1. There is a worldwide pandemic on, and being quarantined leads to no shortage of boredom.
2. I have just proved my competence as an engineer with a focused specialisation towards computer simulation models.
3. Engineers when bored are dangerously sassy.

The story: As a recent graduate while the world is closed off, getting an entry level position is somewhat of a challenge with companies struggling to stay afloat in these troublesome times, and the landlord still comes chomping at the bit for his rent money. I now currently work for a company run by a colourful megalomaniac which has a jungly name specialised in warehouse based online commerce (no names will be mentioned). I am vastly overqualified for my position, but needs must.

I am currently in the department that deals with quality. One of my main responsibilities now is going around the warehouse inspecting items for defects, issues with returns, repeated problems and frequently damaged items and passing judgement before auditing them, fixing problems as I go and raising tickets as necessary, its not a bad job to be doing. One of the things I raise tickets for is preparation of items, which happens if an item is fragile or regularly broken and needs additional protection. It is up to me whether it is worthwhile sending things for prep.

When I was given my training for this role, my mentor warned me about someone who’s login literally appears a synonym of “battleground” and to expect their messages on the in house messaging system to be equally as dramatic sounding. They are one of the individuals who reads my tickets and audits and sets the follow ups in motion, but don’t necessarily see all the info I see. They also work the opposite shift to me, so there is no overlap and the only time communication gets through is at the start and end of each shift as we see messages left.

A few nights ago my computer on wheels told me to check a bucket of detergent for damages, I was sent to a few locations and judged the product to be unpreppable, I.e. its a container made of brittle plastic that has a hazmat item inside and has 5kg of product inside. The reason it was deemed so is our standard test to see if an item will need prep is to drop it from 3ft high, if you damage that unit, all others should get prepped. This item will definitely break on impact, and even with bubblewrap it will need many layers to stop that happening. As a result the cost/benefit of wrapping up the 1500 of these items in inventory doesn’t add up, especially as it would take multiple back to back shifts to fix this in house for just this 1 item.

“Battleground” left me a message stating that if I believe the item will break, it MUST be analysed and they believe the items MUST be prepped, although they aren’t aware of how many there are in stock. They actually are the same level as me in the hierarchy and have no actual power to direct me as they wish, and I protest that there is no way I’m going to start dropping 5kg buckets of hazmat on the floor. Then the message is waiting for me at the start of my next shift to “DO YOUR JOB AND JUST ANALYSE THE BUCKET” which was actually all in caps. Okey dokey, MC time.

I got home the morning after having not being sent to look at any of those items that night, and in an effort to satisfy the request began designing the bucket in CAD, I knew the dimensions, I knew the material, and I had the software licenses to create a detailed impact simulation. I discovered that in order to absorb enough impact to not break the bucket I would need 6 layers or cushioning at least for 3ft drops, the highest this item is stored is 24ft up in the air on pallets. Naturally I proceeded to continue my investigation, and by the time my next shift rolled around 3 nights later I had an 8 page technical report on my structural analysis of the bucket with a rough cost benefit analysis included and a feasibility assessment. I raised a ticket for a damage issue ccing “battleground” in for all updates, attached my report and listed it publicly in the building.

The next shift I was simply met with a ticket resolved notification…