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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Confident_String9774 on 2023-06-23 20:36:29+00:00.
This seems so petty to me but I’m actually being told by everyone (except my husband) that I’m in the wrong. Both my best friend and I (both 29) are pregnant. We are only a couple weeks apart, me being further along. Her pregnancy has been problematic (hormonally), mine has been smooth sailing. Neither of us are sick, in pain or have complications; her issues are strictly hormonal (her words- “I have zero issues outside of being angry 24/7”).
So I’m sure some people here can relate when I say that a common thing in pregnancy is like… disliking your spouse. That’s my best friend, 100%. It is a very common thing. It’s “normal”- her doctor says. She truly just can’t stand him right now. Even him breathing or being in the same room is enough to piss her off. I’m the complete opposite. I have never been more infatuated or absolutely obsessed with my husband than I am right now. It’s actually kind of gross how fucking perfect he is but oof, it’s rough.
So I’m sitting at my friend’s house today and she’s just being really mean to her spouse. Demanding things from him, calling names, etc. Well, my hubby shows up in his brand new truck to pick me up and I did an eyebrow wiggle and laughed and my friends spouse goes “wish my wife looked at me like that”. It kind of snapped me back to reality and my friend huffs and walks off. I go home. I get a text later saying “you got Craig and I fighting because you selfishly couldn’t hide your over the top happiness for 5 seconds to not make me look like an AH. You know I’m having a hard time and you made it worse. Thanks.” I guess Craig ended up leaving for the night or something, with the words “until you can start treating me like Beth treats John, I won’t be back”. I told my friend it’s not my fault she hates her spouse right now and it’s selfish to ask me to hide how much I love mine. But as I said, everyone is taking her side because I’m fully aware of her struggles right now and should have made it less obvious.
She’s got some serious issues that she needs to work through. The world can’t bend to her will, and others shouldn’t have to be miserable just because she is - whether or not she’s at fault.
Her husband is an asshole for leaving her, and she’s an asshole because medical reasons. You’re not an asshole for behaving in a reasonable manner. If you have some way to help her find help for her condition, that would make you better than most.
I don’t blame her husband for leaving at all. Why should he stay where he’s clearly not wanted and suffering constant abuse?
I mean I guess it depends on how much hormones actually has to do with her vitriol against her husband. I feel like it can’t be 100% because of that, but I know the feeling of hating someone simply for existing, granted not all the time.
I feel like if she can’t give some sympathy back to her husband for hating him then that’s something else and yeah, I really can’t blame him either.