I do think some (maybe most) of it is luck/brain chemistry, I feel happy a lot as I get older. Part is just that deep appreciation I feel when I wake up and realize that instead of school I will go to a job that pays me. Having kids was stressful but absolutely did increase my enjoyment in life, my desire to live, if that makes sense. More good than bad by a large margin.

Good news is if you are 40-50 you are getting to that age too - news articles say it’s like we sit back and enjoy the fruits of our labor but I think bullshit because I can’t slow down yet and still feel it, it has to be changing brain chemistry and perspective - happiness comes easier now and also fewer things irritate me, youth is an irritable time.

And I guess finally, I really do think luck plays a big part - not in outward circumstances (though obviously luck is very important there too, circumstances don’t guarantee happiness) more in the ability to feel certain things. So my actual advice is to adjust perspective if you can, be grateful for the things you can, get physically active to the extent you can and take time to do pleasurable things because even if you are not wired to feel that rush of “happy” you may still be able to feel content and thankful and good.

I think that the important thing to remember is that just because something gets you off, that doesn’t mean it’s a good way to run the world.

A feminist Dom makes sense to me, they are getting off on the control but only with someone who enjoys it, think lots of those guys get off even more on seeing what it’s doing for their sub.

Don’t worry. I am built pretty straight up and down and nothing fits me either. I think that people with good fitting clothes are probably getting them tailored.

Could you wear a well fitted sports bra instead? Can you handle Merino wool fabric? The Branwyn Busty soft bra is so very nice and temperature regulating, I can wear it doing yardwork. Any other wool I absolutely cannot stand but the soft Merino knits can be very soothing feeling and they stay dry.

I’m a lady but once I went to Target for clothes and came back with 4 bottoms all the same dimensions but the sizes were 4, 5, 7 and 9. All of those were the same size somehow.

I am about the same height as my husband (5’9") and was about the same height as my ex too, but his ex was tiny, and I joke with him about it because his sons are shorter than him, tell him tall ladies make tall kids, he should have planned better!

So really I’m not even that tall, just taller than women’s regular clothes are. At least they make them now, Gap and Madewell are both serious about tall sizes, the rise on those fits well, the inseam too long for me but that’s an easier adjustment.

And yeah I feel bad for really short ladies too, if the petites are just shorter inseams that won’t work either!

Yoga 4x a week (vinyasa)

Weightlifting, theoretically once a week but it’s been so busy more like once a month lately.

Ride EBike to work, walk daily too.

Food, I don’t track calories (history of disordered eating) but do try to eat pretty healthy and do have a garden. I’m in Florida and right now growing lettuces, spinach, mustard greens, butternut squash, jalapenos, fennel, broccoli, cauliflower. In the summer okra is the star here, love it, and also grew some watermelons, Stokes Purple sweet potatoes, and heat tolerant lettuce, mint and basil.

Game the system by having an unhappy childhood so being an adult is so much better? I enjoy being a grownup so much. What are you unhappy with? Were you happy as a kid and if so, what made you happy? I didn’t like school, felt alienated and in general kids have no control over their own lives. So adulthood suits me much better.

As a woman? Brands that think tall ladies are just short women on stilts, so the pants are too short through the rise and shirts too short. We are not all legs! I can get a fit in pants by buying from the few places that have legit tall women’s clothes and then hemming them to fit.

Very close second place is bra shopping, same sort of problem - cup size scales up with wire diameter, but in general small boobs are not small around, they are just flatter, and on the other side big boobs can have narrow roots. They need 3 measurements not 2, like band length, wire diameter and cup volume all need to be moving parts.

I sit on the porch with the bowl, it’s nice to see them walking around. It’s easier for both parties, and I can dress up too.

I think it’s because fewer houses are doing it, mostly. But I don’t understand skipping very decorated houses, and honestly wouldn’t leave out a bowl of candy here.

The sitting on the porch thing is traditional here now (my mom sat inside but I’m over 50 now and since being old enough to be on the treating side have always sat out with the candy and that’s more usual as far as I can tell) Though my kids always did go up and try if a light was on outside.

Maybe they are also a little more sensible too, lol - a princess last night looked in the bowl and said, nah there’s nothing I like, happy Halloween. My kids would have taken some anyway and traded it around, but it is always too much by the time they are done.

Overall I agree, they should yell TRICK OR TREAT but am glad nobody is, like egging your house if you don’t have a treat for them.

Didn’t Zeus go around appearing as things like swans? Is swan like goose? Christmas Zeus, with a bonus of all that fat to fry potatoes in is my choice. Just gotta catch him in swan form.

I think so, yes. Always OK. Is it always the best possible way to go? Probably not.

And no, I don’t think it matters if it’s physical or mental, what matters is balancing the risk of the drug vs. the benefit. So for example my kid takes Adderall for ADD, I don’t, because I know how much I like speed and also have a (very far past) history of disordered eating and still occasional anxiety about eating - I judge the potential risk too high even if it would “fix” my mind in one way, and make me better in that way.

But yeah, if it will improve you overall why wouldn’t it be ok?

I think it’s ok for everyone to pay something, and income tax is progressive.

Social security tax is regressive, and sales tax is regressive. So I’d remove the cap on social security, tax unearned income more, and exempt more necessary items from sales tax, if looking to get more from the more wealthy, as income tax is the only one working right - when I was poor my federal income tax was 0, when I was poor with kids I got a little more back than I paid in, now we are doing well, paying lots because we make more at work.

Ibuprofen, but hardly ever because near 100% of my occasional headaches are migraine so I use sumatriptan (which is prescription here). Because no painkiller works for those, but 6mg of intramuscular sumatriptan knocks them out 99% of the time.

Never Tylenol/paracetamol because it has never worked for me at all for any pain. Not headache not any other pain. Like zero effect, I just feel vaguely poisoned.

Never naproxen because I puke it up - I tried it first for a migraine and assumed I’d just vomited because migraine. But later tried it for a knee injury and nope, puked it right out again.

So for the rare not migraine headache that doesn’t just go away by itself, ibuprofen because it does work.

“Really, dude? I am so tired of you asking that. It’s none of your business if I’m ok or not. Stop asking.”

Tell him directly first. Then if he persists go to your boss or HR and tell them you think probably he is trying to be nice but keeps interrupting your work and won’t stop, and the distractions are starting to interfere with your work.

If I saw it here in Florida I’d say a leggy Huntsman. It’s gorgeous!

I read somewhere that if you actually wanted to feel good when you were old, it took 3 hours of exercise every day (meaning physical activity, not 3 hours of weightlifting). Which made sense to me, and I figure if I’m able, that’s what I’ll do if ever lucky enough to retire. I don’t have a spare 3 hours a day now but have increased my daily movement to get ready so it’s not a shock, lol. So they could be depressed because of physical idleness.

But it seems hard to never learn anything, unless you are making a very intentional effort not to!

Hate is a strong word, but yes I prefer the longer days of summer, and like doing summer things, and yes going to work in the dark sucks, but coming home from work in the dark is even worse, so dispiriting.

It’s not even cold here, and summer too hot for most but summer is still my favorite, winter least favorite.

I’m not sure it’s ever too late to learn anything. Unless you are dead.

But I do wish I’d been able to feel ok about my body as a teenager, the anorexia was harmful to my bones & heart, so I guess technically I learned too late to value my body, or learned it too late to avoid damage anyway, though I’m pretty healthy overall now. I think almost all teenagers are uncomfortable with their looks in some way, at least they were back then.

At my job? No. That would not happen.

And it’s funny you ask about outside the US because the way I learned this was our head of finance in Germany was visiting and as I passed the office where he was I heard him talking and it was just fucking this, fucking that, fuck so many times just in the time it took me to pass the office.

Now should you be cussing out customers? No, of course not. But no one in my office bats an eye and we often hear “what the fuck, Microsoft?!” when something doesn’t work.

Right, you are proportionate, waist to height as a measurement means a 7’ tall guy would be healthy with a 40" waist, but a lady (or man) who is 5’ tall really does need smaller than 30" to be in shape.