I think upgrading the RAM as you mentioned is going to make a big difference. While the physical RAM might be soldered to the motherboard, you could buy a fairly cheap SD card or USB and set the system up to use that as virtual memory. It won’t be as fast as actual RAM but it might help and large SD cards are honestly really cheap these days.
Just for some pretext here: I’m not trying to defend this woman because I know nothing about her.
That being said and just for everyone’s information, there is a scenario in which what she said is logical and fair.
It used to be that women were not allowed to have careers and some people still choose to practice that. So the women agree when entering into the marriage that they’ll be homemakers and the husband will earn money and take care of her. If the husband doesn’t keep up his end of the duties in that arrangement and they wind up being divorced then she now has no means to provide for herself. This is why alimony was initially created, so that women who were forced (or in the modern day chose) to be homemakers weren’t absolutely fucked in the case of divorce.
Again, I’m not saying that’s what’s happening here, I have no idea, but I just wanted to provide some potential context because I find a lot of talk about alimony and divorce online often just dumps on women as being greedy and that’s just not fair in every situation.
I gotta say though, it sure looks that way in this situation, especially with her talking about cheating on her husband, but again, who knows, maybe he’s not holding up his end, maybe he’s physically or emotionally abusive, we just don’t know.