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Cake day: June 15th, 2023

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  • It’s more about framing the conversation in a way that helps OP’s supervisor realize they’re at odds with each other, socially, and that the supervisor needs to make changes, not OP. I know it’s a bit blunt and direct and may not exactly describe their relationship, but I’ve found that being direct and binary with extroverted people generally gets them to the point faster, rather than beating around the bush with complex descriptions of their dynamic.

    And the supervisor being an extrovert is definitely a part of the problem in this case. They’re ignoring signals from OP that they don’t want to be social, shaming them for it, and forcing public interactions in order to change them. This is classic extrovert behavior which is making OP uncomfortable.

    The topic of discussion is definitely off-limits and deserves a conversation with HR, but the supervisor still needs to understand that OP’s antisocial behavior isn’t a problem. Otherwise, the discussion will change to be more work-appropriate, but the behavior will remain.


  • As a fellow introvert, I’ve found that being meek and timid about uncomfortable situations just invites more trouble from extroverts. The best way to handle it is to be direct and firm. If she wants to be nosy, then drop all the gory details:

    "I’m an introvert and I don’t feel comfortable sharing my personal life with coworkers. I know you, as an extrovert, want to be involved in everyone’s personal lives and there’s nothing wrong with that, but as a leader and a manager, you need to understand how to change tracks and adapt to your subordinates’ needs.

    “I need time to myself to recharge; being around people is mentally and emotionally draining for me. It’s not something I can “fix,” it’s just the way I am, and no amount of exposure to people or social events will ever change that. I need you to understand that and adapt to my needs, in order for you to effectively manage me.”

    I worked my way up the ranks in the US military and eventually found myself managing people. As an introvert, I found it extremely difficult to get out and talk to my subordinates. But I soon realized that the mission wouldn’t get done unless I did my job, so I quickly learned how to fake an extroverted personality while at work so I could talk to people and ensure mission success. Then I’d go home and crash. I’d spend my evenings either sleeping or bundled up, watching TV or playing video games, just to recharge so I could do it all again the next day.

    But one of the things I learned was how to adapt to the needs of my subordinates. I had one guy who was a complete fuck-up. Couldn’t do anything right without someone holding his hand. So I either had to be very hands-on with him, or delegate that responsibility to one of my subordinate leaders.

    But then I had another guy who grew up in a ghetto being plagued by corrupt cops, and he hated anyone in an authority position over him. Why he joined the military, I dunno. We were all about authority and respecting rank and file. But if I even spoke to him, he would shut down and then be unproductive all day. As long as I left him alone, he was my hardest and most productive worker. So I learned to leave him alone and he practically did my job for me. Maybe your supervisor needs to learn that lesson with you.


  • The common lingo originated from the movie The Matrix, where Neo was given the choice of taking the red pill and waking up in the real world, or taking the blue pill and staying in the fake fantasy that was his life.

    4chan adopted the term and started calling themselves “redpilled,” claiming that they were removed from the happy fantasy promoted in popular culture (wife, kids, decent job, etc.) and could see life for the harsh, cruel reality it truly was.

    The mindset spread to Reddit where a community popped up (r/theRedPill), espousing sexual strategies for men in a society where they felt sex was highly unattainable for their gender. It turned into a very misogynistic subreddit, hating on women who “could get laid anytime” and didn’t respect the plight of men who struggled for simple affection from the opposite gender.

    Being “redpilled” took on a negative connotation, turning into a darker, conservative term to support men’s struggles in life while at the same putting down women. Its original meaning has been corrupted into a warped idealism for men. One could argue it’s promoting the opposite of its origin; fighting to create a fantasy world for men to flourish without effort instead of introducing them to the reality that their struggles are all self-inflicted and needed hard work, patience, and determination to overcome.

    The term became well enough recognized that “_____-pilled” started introducing other concepts of being introduced to harsh truths in the world. In this case, blackpilled, meaning to give in to despair and depression in an uncaring, cruel world.




  • People are getting paid to donate plasma?! The only scam here is that I’ve been giving it away for free!

    I donate to the Red Cross here in America. Honestly, I’m happy to donate. I get to sit and relax for a couple hours, the Red Cross I go to has TVs attached to the chairs so I can watch a movie while I donate, and I get free drinks and snacks afterward.

    They’re always hurting for plasma donations and you can donate every 28 days, so I visit frequently. I don’t really see how it could be a scam. They always tell me plasma is more important than blood donations. Blood goes bad quickly, but they can keep plasma for a long time. And pretty much everyone can use it. Unlike blood, which you need a compatible type to use.

    I donate because I enjoy helping others. I’m not looking for a way to personally benefit from it, so I don’t really care if they offer to pay or not. I feel like that should be the default mindset going in. But I understand there are people who are hurting financially, and donating blood or plasma is an easy way to make a buck. So I’m fine with them offering to pay for donations.


  • I worked at an Arby’s back in high school (over 20 years ago). They told me free refills were a thing because most customers don’t refill more than once, if at all. Also, the soda water costs pennies and the bags of concentrated soda syrup were only like $10 (at the time). A single bag of syrup, mixed with soda water, could fill customer’s soda cups for maybe 2-3 days before it needed to be replaced. Fast food restaurants make insane profits on soda, so they don’t care if customers refilled multiple times during their visit.


  • cobysev@lemmy.worldtoFunny@sh.itjust.worksTrue love
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    9 days ago

    Back when my wife and I were still dating, she found a cheap ring she loved. It was just a normal jewelry ring with her favorite stones in it, not a fancy engagement ring or anything. But she loved it so much, she told me that if I ever proposed to her, she gave me permission to steal it from her and re-present it as an engagement ring. Which I did.

    I felt bad about it though. I took the ring to propose, but my plans fell through and it took me a few more days to arrange a new proposal plan. She had forgotten all about our conversation, so the whole time she was tearing the house apart, looking for her favorite ring. She loved that I “found” it and gave it back to her with a proposal.



  • Mine is video games.

    I’m 40 and I’m gaming now more than I ever have before!

    Granted, part of that is because I’m retired young and have all the time in the world. But another part of that is because I made a small Discord server with a few close friends from my high school days. It’s how we stay in touch, since we’ve all moved away since childhood.

    We game online every Monday and/or Tuesday evening. It gives us time to talk and catch up through Discord while also playing some fun online multiplayer games together. The rest of the week, we share news, memes, videos, and other text discussion through various channels I’ve set up in Discord.

    I’ve never heard of anyone losing their love for video games as they get older. If anything, continuing to play games later in life will help keep your cognitive functions strong. Remember the Skyrim grandma? She’s still going strong in her late 80s. It’s never too late to get into gaming again.


  • cobysev@lemmy.worldto196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneAutocorrect Rule
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    23 days ago

    Women are so cute and adorable and I love you too baby girl 😘💋❣️

    Yes, it even popped up emojis at the end there, then got stuck looping on the same 3 emojis.

    And no, that’s not how I text women. My wife would kill me if I called her “baby girl.” She doesn’t like infantilizing speech; says it sounds creepy to be called a baby, even in the context of cutesy romantic lingo.


  • Breast augmentation is one of the more common cosmetic surgeries in the military. I actually knew someone who had hers reduced in size because they were too big and interfering with her life. Plus, wearing heavy flak vests with armor plating is painful if you have boobs, and next-to-impossible if they’re massive.

    I also had another coworker who got implants because she said her flat chest was affecting her mental health, self-image, and confidence. Now she’s one of the more confident and outgoing people I know in the military.

    The most common surgery, actually, was LASIK/PRK eye surgery. For most of my career, it was considered a cosmetic surgery. The military defined “cosmetic surgery” as any unnecessary surgery a member elected to have done. You didn’t need to fix your eyesight, because the military would issue you glasses. So it was cosmetic.

    However, in the last handful of years I was in, someone successfully argued that getting your eyes corrected would improve your effectiveness at work, and thus was a benefit to the military, not just the member. Plus, they started allowing people to become pilots if they had the PRK surgery. (You need perfect vision to be a pilot, and eye surgery used to ban you from the job.) So eye surgery is no longer a cosmetic surgery.


  • The “Work/Government Issued” one make me laugh because I served in the US military, and a handful of years ago, they approved gender reassignment surgery for trans people.

    You’re allowed to receive one “cosmetic” surgery for free while serving in the US military, and this counted for that. So you could literally be “issued” a new gender by the government, for free.

    Trump became president, and while military people were signing up for gender reassignment surgery, he randomly ordered that trans people weren’t allowed in the military and had to be kicked out immediately. So a bunch of people who outed themselves to take advantage of the surgery suddenly were at risk of losing their jobs.

    Fortunately, the Department of Defense put a hold on those orders and managed to talk Trump out of kicking people out for being trans. But I guarantee, if he becomes president again, he’s not going to be talked out of it again.



  • cobysev@lemmy.worldtoPrivacy@lemmy.mlUse a password manager
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    1 month ago

    I was in the US Air Force for 20 years, working as an IT guy, and our computers were so locked down, you couldn’t use password managers at work. Nor were you allowed to bring them in.

    Almost every office I worked in was secured; no removable electronic devices allowed. No cell phones, no flash drives or removable drives. Heck, CDs were a controlled item. You had to check with a security manager for approval before bringing in a music CD, and and data CDs required a log of their use and physical control by a trusted agent.

    Plus, the computers themselves had a custom-configured OS and you couldn’t install any software on them that wasn’t on a pre-approved list. Half the time, normal users needed to talk to an admin like me to install something, and I might not even have the rights at my level to do it.

    I didn’t get to mess around with password managers until I retired a couple years ago, and they’ve been a game changer! In the military, we needed unique complex passwords for everything, can’t reuse passwords, can’t write down passwords, and you had to change them every 60 days.

    Having a password manager makes my personal accounts so much more secure. I can have super complex passwords for everything and not need to remember them. I currently have Proton Pass (been de-Googling my life and switching all my stuff over to Proton lately) and it’s been wonderful.

    I don’t know why the military doesn’t get some sort of password manager approved for use. This is far more secure than what they’ve been doing in the past. I had 3 standard password templates, then made minor changes to them for every unique account. If they got too complex, I’d forget them (and again, we weren’t allowed to write them down). Now I can just auto-generate a 25+ character complex password and I don’t even need to remember it. I love it!


  • Fluently? Only English. But I spent 20 years in the US military, nearly 8 of them living full-time in foreign countries. So I did my best to learn at least a little of the languages I was exposed to in my travels.

    I was stationed in Japan for 3 years. I learned how to get around and order food in Japanese, plus some limited conversation. I’m actually studying to read the language now. I could read Hirigana and Katakana (the Japanese alphabets) when I lived there. But it takes their students their entire school lives to learn how to read Kanji (the complex Chinese-borrowed symbols that represent entire words), so that one will keep me busy for a while.

    When I was stationed in Germany, I learned some basic German, thanks to having friendly neighbors who spoke nearly fluent English. They helped me correct and improve my German language skills. But I was only in the country for a couple years, so I didn’t get very advanced with it.

    I took 4 years of French in high school. I thought I was pretty decent at it, but every time I attempted to speak the language in France, the locals immediately switched over to English to converse with me.

    Random related tangent: my wife and I took a vacation to Berlin once, and my wife, like me, spent several years studying French in high school. She decided to test her German language skills with the locals, and when she spoke, they immediately switched to French for her. Turns out, she speaks German with a heavy French accent. She was able to finish her conversation in French.

    I’m currently studying Norwegian. My 3x great grandfather immigrated to America from Norway, and I still have living descendants of my ancestors over there. My dad and I went to visit them once, and I would like to be able to speak their native language the next time I go back. It used to be a rule that everyone in my family line learned English and Norwegian, but my grandfather died when my dad was only 2, so my dad never learned Norwegian, and thus neither did I.

    I learned some extremely limited Korean. I was assigned to South Korea twice, for a year each time, and the military wouldn’t let me live off-base amongst the locals, so I didn’t get much free time to explore the country and learn the language. But I made an effort to learn some phrases so I could be polite in public, order food, and find my way back to the military base if I got lost.

    Other languages that I’ve been exposed to and picked up a handful of words/phrases, but never seriously attempted to study: Italian, Arabic, Spanish, and Hawaiian.


  • As a former IT guy, I got used to just saying “secure shell” every time I saw SSH, to help teach my younger IT folks the lingo. I don’t even say the acronym anymore. When I did, I just spoke the letters (es-es-aich).

    Same for ZSH; I just call it Z-Shell (zee-shell).

    Sudo has always been “soo-doh” (or “sue-dough” as OP spelled it; same pronunciation). I’ve never met anyone who pronounced it differently in my 20 years of IT work.




  • They do that with Legacy IPs because most people say well I bought the first one I wouldn’t be a real fan if I didn’t buy the next one.

    I hate how accurate this is. However, it can also hurt them because there have been many franchises I’ve refused to buy because I never played the first games and I don’t want to jump into the middle of a story I’m unfamiliar with. I’m a bit of a completionist like that.

    I wonder if this is why a lot of games are no longer numbering their new releases and just giving them unique titles. So people don’t think of them as a series and are more willing to buy the latest releases.

    On a related topic, I HATE how Call of Duty just made a totally new game and called it Modem Warfare, then started up a new franchise with MWII, MWII, etc. We already had Modern Warfare 1-3! It’s like they’re trying to erase/overwrite their old franchise so when people look them up, they just find the latest games. Very sneaky!

    EDIT:

    If I could develop a game where customers get nothing and you are required to pay them money. It would be the top funded game by every AAA publisher. Remember the people at the top and especially the shareholders don’t care about games.

    This is where microtransactions and DLC (like useless character/weapon skins) come from. The customer gets practically nothing, but they pay the company so much money for it. There are tons of games that thrive on this model (especially mobile games) because selling microtransactions and extra downloadable content that’s just a recoloring of a skin makes way more money than just selling the base game.