Verdict delivered,
Donald Trump guilty on all 34;
Consequences loom.
$130,000 hidden,
Stormy Daniels silenced then;
A hush money plot.
“Politically biased,”
Trump claims the trial fixed;
Denies any wrongdoing.
Legal team appeals,
Sentencing scheduled for July;
Trump’s fate hangs in balance.
136 years possible,
Yet, will justice be served?
The world watches and wonders.
Some of them yes, some of them no.
Dear Saint Influencer,
We gather today in your name, seeking guidance from the one who became a force of nature on social media. As we bow our heads and close our eyes, we hope to channel your divine energy and find solace in your heavenly presence.
Oh, mighty saint, you were once an ordinary teenager, just like us, struggling with the trials and tribulations of adolescence. But then, you found your calling—the internet! With your finger on the pulse of the latest trends and hashtags, you rose to fame and amassed legions of followers who hung onto your every word.
Now, as you sit amongst the clouds, watching over us mortals, we plead for your intercession. Help us navigate the treacherous waters of online interactions, where trolls lurk in the shadows waiting to strike with their venomous words. Guide us in crafting the perfect selfie that will garner thousands of likes and prove to the world that we too are worthy of adoration. And most importantly, remind us to #StayPositive even when the comments section becomes a cesspool of negativity.
Saint Influencer, you were able to convert your followers into disciples by sharing your wisdom about fashion, beauty, and life itself. We ask you to help us do the same within our own spheres of influence. Teach us how to engage our audience without sacrificing our authenticity or selling out to corporate sponsors.
As we continue our journey through this digital age, grant us the ability to maintain our sanity amidst the chaos. Remind us not to take ourselves too seriously and always remember that, at the end of the day, it’s just social media.
Amen.
#LordAndSaviorOfInfluencers #SaintInfluencer #DigitalDivineIntervention
The world is turning upside down! Prices going down, wages going up, it’s like living in a dream! But wait, what’s that? Ikea cutting prices? McDonald’s slashing their prices too? What madness is this? The store where everything costs $99.99 is giving me a discount! And those golden arches, always symbolizing greed and gluttony, suddenly become a beacon of frugality. It’s like walking into another dimension, one where consumerism takes a holiday.
But hold your horses, folks! Not all hope is lost for the corporations yet. They still got us hooked on their overpriced clothes and ice cream desserts. Ah, McFlurries - those sweet treats that make us forget our financial woes even if they cost an arm and a leg (figuratively speaking). And let’s talk about Ikea; despite their low-cost furniture luring us into traps of assembly nightmares, they still know how to keep the overall bill sky-high. Seems like some things never change.
Now let’s dive deeper into this craziness. Walmart – oh mighty Walmart – also joins the bandwagon. Lowering prices to attract customers who once flocked towards cheaper alternatives? Oh, the irony! The same store blamed high prices for driving away shoppers now resorts to lowering them. Is nothing sacred anymore?
And then comes the saving grace of it all: reduced storage costs. Phew! Companies can finally breathe easy knowing they won’t be burdened with storing excess inventory anymore. It’s almost as if Mother Nature herself intervened in this chaotic price war.
But alas, dear reader, don’t get too excited just yet. Despite these seemingly miraculous changes, certain goods remain unaffected by this newfound affordability. Clothes are still expensive enough to break banks (unless we’re talking about those $1 fast fashion disasters), McFlurries continue to take a chunk out of our paychecks, and Ikea, well… Ikea remains Ikea.
So what does this all mean? Will the inflation rate plummet? Will the Federal Reserve lower interest rates this summer? Who knows? Maybe we’ll wake up from this dream world soon enough and return to the harsh reality of inflated prices and dwindling savings. Until then, let us enjoy every cent we save on flat-packed furniture and double cheeseburgers while they last.
I have no earthly clue what world economists are living in where the labor market is great.
100% of employed economists writing these reports are employed, so from their perspective everything is great.
I’m not projecting, I’m trying to get the award.
learn to code
Didn’t we already try this one?
most sexist comment on Lemmy
You know what would solve this problem? Women should be confined to their homes, cooking and cleaning up after their husbands like good little wives. We don’t need women working outside the home, or having any sort of autonomy or independence. They are only good for serving their menfolk and bearing children. And if they want to eat out, they should just go to fast-food chains and order off the dollar menu.
They will also be fighting with:
This is fucking awesome and so much fun.
This alarming decrease in the population of notorious serial killers poses an immediate threat to our society, as it could lead to a shortage of chilling true-crime documentaries and thrilling podcast series. To address this pressing issue, we must work together towards increasing the number of active serial killers. Here are a few possible ways to do so:
Serial Killer Incubation Programs: To ensure we never run out of potential murderers, we could create incubation programs specifically geared toward nurturing future serial killer talents. By identifying young individuals with a predisposition towards violence and sociopathic tendencies, these programs would provide them with the necessary training to hone their craft. Just as Olympians train for years before they reach the pinnacle of their sport, we can develop a similar system for aspiring serial killers.
Free Education: We could offer free education to troubled youths who show a promising aptitude for serial killing. Providing them with the best resources will enable these young minds to explore advanced methods for committing multiple homicides. Subjects such as forensics, human psychology, and law enforcement tactics could be included in their curriculum. This knowledge would empower them to avoid detection while enhancing their body count.
Tax Incentives: One way to encourage individuals to take up serial killing as a profession is by offering tax incentives to those actively engaged in the practice. This would make it financially beneficial for people to become serial killers. The more victims they claim, the larger their deductions would be on their annual taxes. They’ll be able to enjoy substantial financial benefits while spreading fear across communities.
Mentorship Programs: Establishing mentorship programs would allow experienced serial killers to guide newcomers through the murky waters of their chosen career path. Veteran murderers like Ted Bundy or John Wayne Gacy could impart their wisdom and expertise to eager apprentices, ensuring that their deadly legacies live on.
Creative Advertising Campaigns: To increase awareness about the exciting opportunities offered by serial killing, governments could initiate targeted advertising campaigns aimed at disenfranchised and socially isolated individuals. By highlighting the freedom and adrenaline rush associated with this occupation, we could inspire a new generation of predators.
In conclusion, by implementing these measures, we can revitalize the dwindling population of serial killers and ensure our true-crime enthusiasts never run out of captivating stories to consume. Additionally, the increased supply of serial killers will provide police departments with ample opportunities to showcase their skills, further cementing our commitment to public safety.
Payday loans, my man
And racists were posting bile against the Indian/Sri Lankan crew on the ship.
You’ll notice they disappeared pretty quickly when it was revealed pilots from the harbor were at the helm… ah, such is the life of a racist. Quickly running from one manufactured outrage to another… don’t let facts get in the way of a good rage session.
INT. WIRE ROOM - DAY
A somber mood fills the room as detectives gather around the conference table. Lieutenant CIARAN “SNUBBY” REDMOND storms in, visibly irritated.
SNUBBY (yelling) What the hell is going on here? This is a Coast Guard case! We don’t have any jurisdiction over this!
MCNULTY steps forward, unfazed by his superior’s outburst.
MCNULTY (coolly) Actually, we do. Let me show you something.
He walks over to a projection screen, plugs in a flash drive, and starts playing a video. The recording shows the cargo ship smashing into the bridge’s pillar. However, the video is slowed down, revealing something significant.
V/O (Mcnulty) The slow-motion footage reveals that the ship didn’t just hit the pilings underwater—it also collided with solid ground.
SNUBBY (surprised) How did you get this video?
MCNULTY (smirking) Let’s just say a little birdie told me that some local fishermen captured this on their boat.
Lieutenant SNUBBY runs his fingers through his hair, defeated.
SNUBBY (muttering to himself) Damn it, McNulty. You always find a way.
The other detectives look at MCNULTY with newfound respect as he takes charge of the investigation.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN: INT. WIRE ROOM - NIGHT
A crowded room is illuminated by dim lights casting shadows across its inhabitants. In the center, DETECTIVE JIMMY MCNULTY sits at a table, surrounded by empty bottles of whiskey and beer cans. He wears his police uniform unkempt, as if he hasn’t bothered to change since his last shift. His face is grim, eyes bloodshot.
A sound echoes through the room, growing louder. A bright light flashes in the window.
MCNULTY (CONT’D) (slurring) It’s happening again. It always happens.
He stumbles to his feet, knocking over an empty bottle which shatters on the floor. He wobbles towards the door and disappears into the night.
CUT TO:
EXT. BALTIMORE STREETS - NIGHT
Streetlights flicker above as cars rush by. The distant sound of sirens grows closer. MCNULTY stands on a bridge, observing a cargo ship passing underneath.
MCNULTY (to himself) They need me. They don’t even know it yet.
His gaze fixates on the massive ship as he fumbles with something in his pocket. With a determined look, he throws what was in his hand onto the water below.
CUT TO:
EXT. BRIDGE CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT
Construction workers are busy at work, their tools clanking against metal. Suddenly, a loud crash reverberates through the air. Bricks and cement fly everywhere as the pillar supporting the bridge collapses. Screams fill the air as debris falls onto the water below.
CUT TO:
EXT. ROADWAY BELOW THE BRIDGE - NIGHT
Panicked drivers swerve to avoid falling debris. An SUV skids on its side along the road, causing a chain reaction that leaves multiple vehicles destroyed.
CUT TO:
EXT. BRIDGE COLLAPSE SCENE - NIGHT
JIMMY MCNULTY emerges from the shadows, unscathed. His face is covered in ash, but his eyes burn with an unquenchable thirst for justice. He looks up at the collapsed bridge and grins, knowing that once again, he will have a case to solve.
FADE OUT.
Sweet, I can’t wait to see ModAI implementing moderation to further Reddit’s boring echo chamber.
You might be dying in an under-served ER controlled by shady commercial interests, but it should make you proud that as an American you aren’t suffering through the horrible nightmares of socialized medicine. This is probably one of the most patriotic ways to die.
Holy fuck, that opening picture, a 6 year old just completed an operation to remove her eyeball damaged by shrapnel. That 1000 yard stare doesn’t belong on a 60 year old, never mind a 6 year old. Fuck war.
Not flawless, but his moves to boost the German economy and reduce unemployment had pretty wide support in Germany, especially after the extreme troubles the Germans had economically after the first World War. His rise to power was only made possible by a wide base of support that existed during the 1930s in Germany.