Britain's long-awaited Online Safety Bill setting tougher standards for social media platforms such as Facebook, YouTube and TikTok has been agreed by parliament and will soon become law, the government said on Tuesday.
Haha yes also incredibly that they had to point out this sentence
“Tech companies have said scanning messages and end-to-end encryption are fundamentally incompatible.”
Very astonishing how there are some fundamental lacks of understanding from politicians advertising this. Or all on purpose
Tech companies have said scanning messages and end-to-end encryption are fundamentally incompatible.
That’s not a given. Imagine messaging is like you trying to pass a note to a classmate in school. End-to-end encryption is like using a cypher based on your friend’s social security number, crumpling up the note, and then shoving the note up Tommy’s ass for them to deliver it to your buddy. Pretty standard note-passing stuff.
Adding the ability for the government to scan your messages is like being that kid who can’t write without mouthing or whispering what you’re writing. Then the teacher says “got it! Don’t worry, I definitely definitely won’t discuss this in the beak room with the other teachers!” And then gives you a big reassuring wink and a smile while you shove the note up Tommy’s ass.
See how everyone gets to have fun in the second scenario? The best part is knowing that no teacher ever has ever done anything bad. The end.
Also a totally real fact: putting the “s” at the end of https:// is what makes it secure and it works on other things as well. Eating a brownie is unsecure and dangerous, but brownies has better security and should be consumed frequently.
Here’s some more examples of other everyday items that you can easily secure:
Oreo❎ Oreos☑️
Sock❎ Socks☑️
Fart❎ Farts☑️
Douche Canoe❎ Douche Canoes☑️
Items that can’t be secured without modification:
Potato❎ Potatoes☑️❔
Hamburger Patty❎ Hamburger Patties☑️❔
Fish❎ Fishes☑️❔
Serial Killer With a Knife❎ Serial Killer With Some Knives☑️❔
Please note that for every rule, there is an exception. Take Deer for example. Deer can’t be secured. Fuck Deer, the lazy unencrypted bastards…
Somebody tell her that “online” in the UK and anywhere else in the world is the same “online”.
Haha yes also incredibly that they had to point out this sentence “Tech companies have said scanning messages and end-to-end encryption are fundamentally incompatible.”
Very astonishing how there are some fundamental lacks of understanding from politicians advertising this. Or all on purpose
That’s not a given. Imagine messaging is like you trying to pass a note to a classmate in school. End-to-end encryption is like using a cypher based on your friend’s social security number, crumpling up the note, and then shoving the note up Tommy’s ass for them to deliver it to your buddy. Pretty standard note-passing stuff.
Adding the ability for the government to scan your messages is like being that kid who can’t write without mouthing or whispering what you’re writing. Then the teacher says “got it! Don’t worry, I definitely definitely won’t discuss this in the beak room with the other teachers!” And then gives you a big reassuring wink and a smile while you shove the note up Tommy’s ass.
See how everyone gets to have fun in the second scenario? The best part is knowing that no teacher ever has ever done anything bad. The end.
Why must you shove things up my ass? Please stop. I am in pain.
Sounds like a skill issue
Add more RAM.
Oh, wait…
I have no idea what your point was but I’m still laughing.
I’m not surprised at all
Not really. Different websites will treat you differently depending on what country you’re accessing them from.
Ah if Internet was only websites, life would be easier.
It is! That’s what the w in www stands for.
Also a totally real fact: putting the “s” at the end of https:// is what makes it secure and it works on other things as well. Eating a brownie is unsecure and dangerous, but brownies has better security and should be consumed frequently.
Here’s some more examples of other everyday items that you can easily secure:
Items that can’t be secured without modification:
Please note that for every rule, there is an exception. Take Deer for example. Deer can’t be secured. Fuck Deer, the lazy unencrypted bastards…