Depression doesn’t work like that…
It does for me at least. Getting a good job that pays well which I don’t despise helped me immesurably even though I am still depressed at least I am not so depressed that I am 2 steps from offing myself anymore.
Depression can have many reasons, some are biochemical, some are due to external factors (sometimes a mix).
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I think nothing.
I’ve always suffered on and off with the mighty duo of depression and anxiety.
I was then diagnosed, and medicated, with ADHD and things have certainly gotten better, particularly in terms of decision making and not making poor ones. Drug usage has dropped significantly.
I was able to train and land a job in my ideal job (software developer). I now drive and have a car. Yet I still don’t feel happy.
Like I can sing on the way to work and shout good morning to the cows as I drive past them, but still I feel empty at times.
Even though I have my dream job, I have a feeling that there has to be more to life than this and also I get so down about perceived injustices in the world, although that has gone down since leaving Reddit.
It’s different as I grow. But right now, affordable mental health support and a friend.
I moved to a new state and have no friends and work from home.
I’m trying my best but… I wish it was easier
It’s so hard to find friends after a big move. I moved to another state in 2021 and still haven’t made any friends other than people my wife was already friends with. Although I still struggled with depression even when I had a big friend group. Affordable mental health support has done the most for me. Having the opportunity to talk to an amazing therapist every week for more than a year has done absolute wonders for my outlook.
That said, I still live with depression. I’m on a medication that helps me have fewer of my worse days and more of my better ones but that doesn’t always work and it’s only a supplement to regular effective therapy itself.
Learning to live with a disorder is an amazing step in the process. If depression was easy to eliminate, the world would be a much different place
Sometimes I have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that if I never had depression I would be a fundamentally different person, and there are good qualities of mine that I don’t believe I would have acquired without that exact factor in my life. Like yes I would prefer an existence free of the pain depression has put me through but that person would not be me. Living with depression is a fact of my life. There’s a lot of help out there and I have benefited greatly from it but it will to some extent always be an ongoing process.
This is very very true! I take medication and it’s great but it’s not enough. Mental health support (therapy) is so important
It really is. So many times I have mentioned how great therapy has been for me and how glad I am that I found the right one for me, only to have people tell me they never would’ve taken me for someone who needed one. I always reply that it’s my firm belief that even the healthiest of mentalities can benefit from good therapy.
Moved to a new city for university. Managed to find some friends there. One moved away and another just quit on our group, so I just have the one friend that actually lives here now. Now, I also have roommates and we’re on friendly terms, but we don’t really do stuff together, you know?
Anyway, I quit university after changing my subjects around and still not feeling like I belong, and now I genuinely have no idea how I would even meet new people. Like, I’m decent enough at making friends in the right environment, like a classroom or something, but I’m not very good at keeping in touch or making new friends outside of that environment.
I have some great online friends, known these guys for like a decade at this point, and some back home, which is close enough to visit, but, you know, you don’t always want meeting up with friends to be an event, you know? Sometimes you just wanna hang out without buying a train ticket.
Yeah I get that. I’m in the same boat about making friends. I’m great at it in situations where I see them everyday. But working from home… So I’m trying to meet up with a gaming group at a store once a week. Monday is my first official day so I’ll see how it goes
Universal Basic Income.
Not having to worry if I can really afford that next meal goes a long way.
I really think this is what the solution can be boiled down to for a lot of people. The rat race just to survive (not even thrive) is killer on the mood, where you feel like you are headed towards existentially, and utterly depletes the energy.
Why even bother trying to pursue things we actually enjoy? Or find out what we do enjoy? Too tired from work. Don’t want to leave the house again if I can help it. It costs so much to do anything. Honestly, if I didn’t end up having some decent people to hang out with at work I wouldn’t have anyone close by. It’s ridiculous.
And how it’s become impossible to even imagine a life without that kind of pressure.
Well I will most likely never not be depressed and currently I think all my criteria are fulfilled but if you want a list of a few things:
Enough money that living day to day isn’t a struggle
A job you don’t hate
The gym. Not cardio. Cardio sucks! I hate cardio.
A roof over your head with no tension
Family and friends even if thats downplayed in my mind sometimes.
Not much, honestly (though a hefty sum of cash would probably make life a bit better).
My brain just doesn’t quite experience a healthy baseline level of happiness and non-anxiety without a bit of help from meds and therapy.
Depression is circumstantial, been trapped in overcrowded slums below poverty level. What I need is a safe, clean, stable place to live, and help finding a job. Instead I’m surrounded by drug addicts, screaming, violence, overcrowding, filth; social services meager, bureaucratic and strained. It wears one down.
I need society to be better
Money and good health insurance. Seriously, it would help me out so dang much.
I have pretty bad PTSD, which has made it near impossible to make real, human connections. If I could get out of my own head, I feel like my life might be able to improve.
I have a house of my own, though. I feel like having your own space contributes a lot to self-improvement and peace, tbh. I am extremely fortunate.
Drugs worked for me. Specifically anti-depressants for years. I was fortunate enough to be able to stop after about 5 years, with no major relapses. Coping with undiagnosed depression for decades prior to treatment may have given me overpowered tools to deal with minor depressive episodes once the drugs were stopped.
Im just going to say this. Depression is like addiction for like 95% of people. Its something you will always have and need to deal with. People saying things like money, health insurance etc. It may help in the short term, but it wont just straight up delete depression. I can personally attest to it.
To add to it, imho, there is not a whole lot others can do for you. If its really bad then yeah interventions can help, and programs can help to try and get you on your feet again, but ultimately it has to come from you, from within. And you have to figure out what works for you. A lot of therapists are good, but a lot of shit too. You have to try things, find what works for you and forget what doesnt. Good therapists can help you find what works FOR YOU. Shit ones just have some junk they read from a book and thats it. And this whole paragraph, it came from a therapist i saw all of 3 times, but its been the biggest sticking point and they were right. Again just like getting clean from addition.
You can have a good job, plenty of money, awesome healthcare, lot of support and family around and depression can and will rear its head all the same as when you lived out of a car in a walmart parking lot showering in gyms and stealing gas station twinkies because you needed to use the fiver you had for gas to get to work. You could even look at me now, seemingly outgoing and having some success in things like life and career and be like “this isnt that bum that was in the latter part of that sentance, couldnt have been”, but the reality is what it is and its no difference to me. I am that person on both sides 100% of time, despite the perceptions of others.
Now, to answer the question, for me i need at least 2 things, though preferably 3.
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Sleep and a regular circadian rythym. I can do this naturally if i exert a ton of physical activity, but in my job etc i normally take some regular medication to help shut my brain off and get good rest.
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Something to engage my brain that isnt work or the problems of life. Things like music, outdoor activities etc. Basically something i can do regularly that breaks the cycle and allows me to catch a break. Learning to play an instrument, or figuring out a problem with my car is just as effective for me as a long hike or going fishing.
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This is more or less optional but still a REALLY big help, and its exercise. It can be as easy as a 3-5 mile walk with some music. Doesnt have to be aggressive running or biking or anything like that. Both 2 and 3 I will often struggle to even get to, often actively not wanting to go do this thing or literally question in my head why am I even doing this UNTIL im there doing it. So i have to tell myself its worth the effort until it is.
Thats it. Thats what I need. This may not work for everyone but its what I need. But ill repeat the similarities to something like addiction are there 100%. And the worst part of it is that some of this may be genetic. My dad was very similar in how he parsed others and viewed the world and now I see many of the same similarities in one of my kids…
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Money. I feel my depression holds me back from networking and seeking and gaining higher paid employment. A lot of glass half empty and “I wouldn’t be considered” thinking
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No more pain 24/7. No more medication. Just normal health, that would actually work for me.
