• Akasazh@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I was born in Victorian Britain and have a very mirthful air about me.

    So one day I was going about my merry business, being my jovial self.

    When I’m walked a creature that saw what I was about, smoked at me and said ‘well aren’t you the gayest person I’ve met all day’.

    I’m not sure how to feel tbh

  • shastaxc@lemm.ee
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    4 days ago

    Wearing an earring in your right ear, but it’s ok to wear it in the left… Or the other way around. I could never remember which.

  • gerryflap@feddit.nl
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    5 days ago

    I’ve had a colleague say that tea is “homo water”. I’m aro/ace, but most of my colleagues don’t know that. Similarly a straight colleague of mine got mocked for wearing pink (but not feminine) shoes. After some of these incidents we’ve kinda started pushing back against this nonsense by deliberately triggering these people and calling them out, which has worked so far.

  • paddirn@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    Sucking my best friend’s dick. I’m sorry, but if my friend is having a bad day, giving him a bro-job is not gay.

    • snek_boi@lemmy.ml
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      5 days ago

      I’m generally skeptical of comments on the internet, so almost every time I have read comments like this one that you’re reading right now, I’ve been like “yeah right”. Kinda like how “lol” means “laughing out loud” but when you read it online you don’t really expect whoever wrote “lol” to have laughed out loud? Anyway, I was drinking coffee, I read your comment, I snorted in laughter, and now my white shirt is full of coffee.

      I guess I’m also kinda mad at myself for laughing so hard at such a silly joke. Regardless, have an updoot 👍

  • dantheclamman@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    I remember kids telling me I was crossing my legs in a gay way. I asked them who said so, and they said their teacher. That was the first time I realized some bullies grow up to be teachers.

    • Wahots@pawb.social
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      4 days ago

      Seriously. If I was a girl, there’s no way I’d want to fuck someone with a filthy asshole, especially on my sheets. Skidmarks on the sheets and smelling like old shit is gross.

      Wash your ass and groin with soap and water just like you do your armpits and feet.

      My unasked for advice? Keep your butthole hair trimmed or shaved. Makes it much easier to keep clean, and it takes two seconds in the shower.

    • nomous@lemmy.world
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      5 days ago

      And up to the first knuckle, you don’t have to jam soap up there but wash your nasty ass if you expect anyone to not gag when they get near your crotch.

      Some of yall are nasty.

    • Jayb151@lemmy.world
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      5 days ago

      Yes, why would you expect anyone to stuff something up there if you’re not going to at least keep it clean!?

  • BCsven@lemmy.ca
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    4 days ago
    • Wear orange or pink.
    • Eat quiche
    • Like poetry
    • Hang out with girls at recess
    • Wear an earring
    • Owning Laurie Anderson or Philip Glass CDs
  • BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org
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    6 days ago

    Pull through parking. You know, where there are two spaces so you drive through one into the next so you can pull out of the one you park in without having to back up? I got told that was for “girls and gays”.

  • brandon@lemmy.ml
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    6 days ago

    I once got called the f-slur for having the audacity to read a book in public, outdoors in front of the library.

  • BlueLineBae@midwest.social
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    6 days ago

    One story my husband shared with me was when he and my dad stopped into a local bar after working hard on home renovations all day. They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”. So they ended up just leaving while the guy yelled at them saying they had to buy something.

    A slightly different version of this concept also happened to my husband. At one point, 2 of our lady friends were talking about fashion and my husband, who is MUCH more fashionable than I am, chimed in. They proceeded to tell him that he’s “not allowed to have an opinion because he’s a man” which is the most double standard bullshit I’ve ever heard come out of any of my friends mouths. It’s stuck with me for a long time now because I think it keeps me honest with myself about standards and reminds me to think about how opinions change when you flip genders.

    • TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml
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      6 days ago

      They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”.

      Fellas, is it gay to practice basic personal hygiene?

        • hitmyspot@aussie.zone
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          4 days ago

          I usually just wet my pants to avoid touching my own penis so I don’t get perceived as gay. Shit, I just used the word perceived. Gay af.

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        I think the bar owner thought they might be going into the bathroom to do gay stuff, not that washing their hands is gay.

        • lunarul@lemmy.world
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          6 days ago

          Two men walking in the bar and going straight to the bathroom together. Man jumped to conclusions.

          • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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            6 days ago

            Well it is called “homophobia” and a “phobia” is an irrational fear.

            He lives his life in fear of two consenting men. Lol

            • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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              6 days ago

              I had the realization recently that homophobes think of gay sex as often as I do; but they have to jump through mental gymnastics to get it while I simply open up app and I’m back to normal an hour or so later.

              I can’t image how hard it is to be happy and hold such a defining part of your life with such contempt at the same time and that was the first time I’ve ever felt sorry for a homophobe; it was for Aaron shock.

  • jrubal1462@mander.xyz
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    5 days ago

    Around 2010ish I was thoroughly enjoying some Bells Two Hearted and other IPAs. My brother (2 years older) tried arguing that bud light is man’s beer, and my beers were fruity and girly. It certainly doesn’t matter to me, but the irony of choosing bud light, out of all the macro beers, is just 👨‍🍳😘>